The only constant thing in life is
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Friday, October 27, 2006
Well sorta.
I just decided to check back in on how everyone is doing on here.
Quick update on me.
My parents have split.
My mom walked out on my abuse step-monster August 30th of last year.
I've been living in Northern,KY again with my mom's family enjoying every second of it.
I manage a popular shoe store.
I am dating ( practically married to) a great guy name Thomas who looks like One of the Doctors off Grey's Anatomy and loves a lot of the things I do...
Did I mention he's wild about me...everything about me too....
Looks and all...
I'm hoping to finish my Theatre degree soon by Going back to school at Northern Kentucky University...
My cousin is gettin married MArch 17th and I'm in the wedding.
Her daughters are playing their championship soccer game tomorrow and I'm an honorary Assistant coach....
Life is good.
I still party, and club...just not in excess.
I'm almost 2 years completley drug free.
Yes, I still drink...
but only in a mild capacity socially.
Other than that...Check the myspace..
www.myspace.com/porthosthepirate
Current mood:  mellow
Thursday, May 12, 2005
Ok, so I'm goin off LJ for a while...It's too much tryin to update Xanga,Myspace,Diary, and LJ.....
I will still check in on friends, but I wont be writting in here for a while...so if you really want to know the adventures in my life at the moment....check the xanga or myspace...
Most of you are on my friends lists there anyway.
Later Babes,
D
Monday, April 18, 2005
Change is the only constant in life.
Therefore, there is no true stability.
Think about that one!
Current mood:  quixotic Current music: Akon "Locked Up"
Thursday, March 24, 2005
Dear Friend,
I wish you were here. It seems like it was just yesterday we were dancing around the living room at that party. Sure, we had had a few drinks, nothing too unusual right? It was just another friday night. "You only live once!" we'd say, "I'm just going through a phase right now." we'd say, "We do this every weekend and nothing bad ever happens." we'd say. We'd make eyes at some guy regarless of the repercussions. We didn't care. It was all in good fun right. Every time we'd swear we wouldn't get smashed, but somehow we always ended up waking up the next morning with the same feelings of "what the hell happened!?!". Why didn't we stop? Why didn't I stop you? I wanted to stop, but I just kept making excuses.
We were in choir together for almost 6 years you and I! We grew up together. Your mom even considered me a daughter. Now, she wont even look me in the eye. I should have stopped you, but I just kept thinking it was a phase you'd grow out of. That phase shifted from drinking, to smoking, from sniffin to shooting....and now, well there's no talkin to you now is there. You can hear me, but you can't understand a word I say. I guess this is just another "phase", right? Only this phase can only shift one more way. There is no other choice now.
You were one of the most beautiful people I knew. Some might say you had model good looks. So much talent! You could sing with all your soul, and not just the fraction like myself. We were the life of the party weren't we? Des and D.....you and me. Dynomite.
I'm sorry that you didn't listen. When I told you I couldn't take it anymore. I wish you had followed me as I walked out Jesse's door. Maybe if I had drug you out , you wouldn't be lying on this bed. How was I to know you'd keep on partying until you were dead? After all it was just a phase, so we said....
Thank you for the times you spent with me. For being the first friend I made at a new school in a new town where I was so afraid, and for making me think twice about the choices I have made. I will always keep the picture from the photo booth up on my wall to remind me of just what a good friend you were through it all.
Love forever and Always,
D
This is an e-mail I sent to my former best friend Desiree who died last year. She and I were best friends in Jr. High . Many people in my life ask me why I flip out when it comes to drinking and things of that nature.....well, I try not to, but the truth is I know by example, it doesn't matter how little you drink or do it will come back to haunt you. See Desiree didn't die suddenly. She fried her brains by overdoesing on heroin. She remained in a coma for 2 months before she finally passed. This is why when I was at Motlow I didn't want to drink....and wasn't proud of myself when I did...and when I was at MTSU and drank I felt like crap the next day....because I know I have an addictive nature. Yes, I can have 2 drinks and stop...it isn't that bad, but still by drinking I tempt fate. Overreacting? No! You may say it's just a little partying now, and that it helps to loosen you up, but in the end....regret.
I guess I put this post here to remind a few friends that it's ok to have fun, but you need to be careful how much fun you have. You may say it's just a few drinks now, but after a while a few drinks wont cut it and you'll have to have a few more...and eventually that wont give you a buzz. You'll start lookin for other ways to get it ( some of you already have). It can ruin your life ( I know). Soon you'll turn into those "crazy people" you always talk about in class who can't get their shit together.
Some of you have so much talent and promise. Remember you can create art and be a legitamate artist without being high or drunk.
Let your art be your drug of choice.
With that said...
Much Love,
D
Current mood:  contemplative Current music: "Kharma" Alicia Keys
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
Took this survey from Paige's journal...found it amusing for a moment.
enjoy!
Body: X if it is true-Dont Lie
[ ] I am bisexual or homosexual.
[x] I've consumed alcohol.
[x] I've run away from home.
[x] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[x] I don't like Bush because from what I hear, he is dumb.
[x] I don't like Bush with my own reasons to back it up.
[ ] I am for Bush.
[x] I listen to political music.(Do Green Day and Edie Brickell Count?)
[ ] I collect comic books.
[x] I shut others out when I'm depressed.
[ ] I open up to others easily.
[x] I am keeping a secret from the world
[x] I watch the news. (TY JTB!)
[x] I own over 5 rap CDs.
[ ] I own an iPod or MP3 Player (i wish...)
[x] I own something from Hot Topic
[X] I love Disney Movies.
[X] I am a sucker for hair/eyes (thats pretty general....??)
[ ] I don't kill bugs.
[x] I curse regularly.
[ ] I paid for that cell phone ring.
[ ] I am a sports fanatic.
[ ] I have "x"s in my screen name.
[x] I've slipped out an "lol" in a real conversation.
[ ] I love Spam.
[x] I bake well.
[x] I would wear pajamas to school.
[x] I own something from Abercrombie. (Yes, I was prep in h.s.!)
[x] I have a job.
[ ] I love Martha Stewart.
[X!] I am in love with love.
[ ] I am guilty oF tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
[X] I am self conscious.
[XXX] I like to laugh.
[ ] I smoke a pack a day
[x] I loved Perks of Being a Wallflower. ( Yes, Jenn. I read it!)
[ ] I loved Go Ask Alice.
[x] I have cough drops when I'm not sick.
[ ] I can't swallow pills.
[x] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem ( yes, I have proven that one, haven't I?)
[x] I eat fast food weekly. (perks of workin at the rec!)
[x] I have many scars.(emotional and physical too...buy,I'm a GREAT catch!)
[x] I've been out of this country.
[ ] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
[x] I am really ticklish.(unfortunatly!)
[x] I see a therapist. ( aint no shame in it!)
[X] I love chocolate.
[ ] I bite my nails. (since i was like7...interesting story really)
[x...] I am comfortable with being me.(gettin there)
[ ] I play video games.
[X] I'm single
[x... ] I'm in a relationship.(seein someone)
[XXXX] Gotten lost in your city. (only a million times)
[x] Saw a shooting star
[x] I Had a serious Surgery
[X] Gone out in public in your pajamas
[x] I have Kissed a Stranger
[x] Hugged a stranger
[x] Been in a fist fight
[x] Been arrested ( wouldn't you love to know!)
[x] Pushed all the buttons on an elevator
[x] Made out in an elevator (MTSU library at about 11 ish all during finals week last semester.good times!)
[x] Swore at your parents
[x] Kicked a guy where it hurts
[x] Been in love
[x] Been to a casino
[ ] Been skydiving
[x] Broken a bone
[X] Skipped school
[xxxxx ] Flashed someone
[X] Done the splits
[x] Played spin the bottle (for like one minute)
[x] Gotten stitches
[x] Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour
[x] Bitten someone
[x] Been to Niagara Falls
[x] Gotten the chicken pox
[x] Kissed a member of the same sex
[x] Crashed into a friend's car ( sad part, I was walkin!)
[... ] Been to Japan ( LOL, bad question!)
[x] Ridden in a taxi
[x] Shoplifted
[ ] Been fired
[x] Ever had a crush on someone of the same sex-??? (who? I'll never tell!)
[x] Had feelings for someone who didnt have them back
[x] Stole something from your job (I just took 2 rubber bands 2-nite!)
[x] Gone on a blind date
[x] Lied to a friend
[x] Had a crush on a teacher ( Sm Bastos, French 1 at MTSU..mmmm...fine little french boy!)
[ ] Celebrated mardigras in New Orleans
[ ] Been to Europe
[x] Slept with a co-worker
[ ] Been married
[ ] Gotten divorced
[ ] Had children
[x] Saw someone dying
[ ] Been to Africa
[ ] Driven over 400 miles in one day
[x] Been to Canada
[x] Been to Mexico
[x] Been on a plane
[xxxx] Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show (well i fell asleep before it was over)
[ ] Thrown up in a bar
[x] Eaten Sushi (as much as possible)
[x] Love Jesus
[x] Been snowboarding
[x] Been Skiing
[x] Met someone in person from the internet (my pen pal!)
[ ] Been to a moto cross show (whoda thunk)
[ ] Lost a child
[x] Gone to college
[ ] Graduated college
[x] Done hard drugs
[x] Taken painkillers
[X] Had someone cheat on you (yep!)
[x] Miss someone right now
Current mood: contemplative Current music: "Mr. Brightside" The Killers
Monday, March 21, 2005
hmmm, tryin to decide if I should reopen this journal?
All drama in my life is gone...
Could be a possibility?
Saturday, January 29, 2005
Friends...wannabe friends....
Today I made a life changing decision.
I am leaving MTSU.
I know what the theatre folk are thinking...Damn, whatever happened has to be massive...
Truth is...it is.
If I were to say anything all hell could break lose in my favor.
However,that's not the type of person I am. So my counselor and my mom have reminded me the last 2 days.
I am a loving and forgiving person by nature. Regardless of how awful a thing someone has done to me it does not warrant me taking their lively hood from them.
Yes, harsh words were spoken...no it isn't anyone's business exept for the 2 parties involved.
It is NOT the soul purpose of me leaving MTSU!!!!!
Yes, it was the straw that broke the camel's back.
But it was a long time coming. See, I never really wanted to be at MTSU to begin with. I wanted to go home to University of Kentucky.
However due to my families current financial and social position...I stayed close to home. Fact which I have been depressed over for some time. I miss KY. I miss my friends. The ones that have known me since I was in Jr. High. The ones that know and have supported me through my life. After all it was never my choice to be in TN...My father is a minister. We go where he goes...I'm 20 years old now....and I'm ready to fly. My wings have been clipped here too long. I refuse to be depressed or unhappy for a minute more. Which is why I am leaving. I am going to finish saving up cash to buy my own car and move back home. At least that's the game plan for now. Who knows in two weeks I might just accept a recent marriage proposal that has been offered to me and be on the next plan to Japan....I don't know. I'm a free spirit. Yes, I am still into acting...It's my passion forever and always...So is music...I just know it isn't being fulfilled at MTSU.
It has nothing to do with auditions and getting parts...I've felt this way since I set foot on that campus. The only reason I've stayed as long as I did is because I didn't want to let my mother down...also because I have met some really awesome friends. Jenn,Leah,Stephen,Patrick...the rest of yous from Dale's last semester "Acting for Assholes" class....I learned so much from you. You are all so brilliant in your own way...
Leah - (I'm gonna keep in touch!) I love you heart! Don't let the BDA assholes turn it to stone. Stay the way you are no matter what!
Jenn - You're too fabulous for words. Take care you!
Stephen- You are by far the funniest guy I've ever met. I owe you many moments of sanity. Take care of Jenn!
Patrick- You rock man! Thanx for keepin it real!
The rest of yous....
Dustin- You are an amazing talent. To the point where I'm in awe at times. Eating (contrary to popoular belief) isn't an occupational hazzard. remember that! Much love!
Paige- Your style and grace are unlike any other I've met while at MTSU. Remember me when when you become a big rockstar. I know you will.
Jordan- You are so much more than "the angry father" type. There is a real heart there. Your a great person. You acting aint too shabby either! LOl!
Josh- Don't take what others say to heart so much. A lot of time they are only sayin things out of jealousy. I really do hope you continue to develope your craft. I'm lookin forward to seein you on that stage as a leading man soon!
Cassie and Kristi- You two are gems! Thanx for the giggles you've given me this year. Cassie,you may look like Anna Kornikova ...however. You are so much more gifted. Kristi, You are so sweet. The perfect leading lady. I hope to see you on the tucker mainstage soon too!
Amanda Cat- if you read this...I find you amazing! After all you've been through this past year. You have triumphed beautifully. You're still one of the most amazing actresses I know. Love ya always babe!
Kristen- I wish we'd have hung out more. You are such a sweet person. Good Luck in the future!
Courtney Snell- I owe you more than words can say. You are one of the most beautiful people I've ever been privilaged to work with. Thank you for your wisdom and guidance this past semester at a hard time for me. You could have killed me, I know...but you didn't. For that I'm forever grateful.
Allen- You are spectacular! Jim Carey had better watch out! He's gonna have a whipper snapper after him soon. Keep on goin man. Don't let the gay roles get ya down.LOL, just kiddin babe.
Brandon Gwinn- You're talent is insane. WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN TN? I look for you to leave MTSU soon... Funny thing I discovered...underneath all that Brandon exterior. There's this really sweet, goofy guy. Good Luck in the future and give my regards to broadway!
Neal- You make women everywhere cry. Do you know that? Yep, spent all of last semester dreaming up ways to turn your ass straight.LOL! You are one beautiful man! Plus, you play the piano...God, when I asked for the perfect man...I meant for me! Grrr...get it right! In all seriousness...Don't let the piano juries get ya down. You are gifted and you know it. Just keep workin at it. Much love man!
And now for other theatre thank you's and last words....
Courtney C - Good God Almighty! Where the hell did you come from! You are somethin woman! Whatever kinda day I'm havin I can always count on you for a smile! You are one of the most genuine people in that dept. Please don't change! Not for all the money in the world. There are many that still need your twisted guidance to survive! LOL! I have mad love for ya gal!
Mondre- I am gonna miss you so much. Maybe I'll see ya clubbin somethime!
You are one of a kind. Thank you for the way you accept everyone as they are w/o judging them. Perhaps there are some who need to spend more time with you and Courtney to learn that?
Mikey- I will forever credit you for taking me to my first metal show. It was definatly an experience. You are one of the sweetest guys I've ever met. There is an equally sweet girl out there for you, trust me...God's just gettin ya ready for her right now. Just give it time. She'll show up...Who knows maybe she's already there.
Heidi- I wish I'd have spent more time with you. Your energy is infectous. You make everyone around you smile. Yes, you do look and act just like Goldie Hahn. Good Luck this semester in all you do. Just remember to stay genuine and not let it go to your head. Courtney and Rachel are good at that which is why I'm glad you'll be spending time with them.
Rachel- I knew you'd make it! Noone else could have played that role but you. I'm so proud you stuck it out! Good luck with everything you do in the future. Remember to smile! You've got an awesome one!
Morgan- I am really,really...really...really gonna miss you! You remind me so much of Jennifer Aniston it isn't funny. In the way you walk,talk, and yes the way you act. Don't party so hard. Continue to believe in what you believe in. It will keep you grounded in the long run. Love ya chick!
Corrine- Remember when we were both drunk at the Sea-Gull cast party I told you you had a sparkle. Well, surprise surprise I say what I really think when I'm drunk. I meant it. You have such a sparkle about you. It's amazing really. So many other actors in that dept. used to have such a sparkle, but somewhere along the lines...they lost it. Don't lose yours. Regardless of the depression,love life traumas, whatever. Alaways know you are at home on that stage. It shows all over your face when your on it. In fact I think it's one of few places you really do feel at home. Just remember it's there. Whenever you feel sad, down, whatever. Take it to the stage. Sing your heart out ! God gave you great pipes for a reason. It is your way of expressing yourself. Don't ever squelch that!
Last but surely not least..I doubt he'll ever read this...
Dale- The most awesome professor at that entire school. You have the most amazing ethics. I think of the many times in class when you could have put me in my place, but you didn't...You simply listened and made suggestions. Unlike that of one of your fellow professors who enjoys tearing students down regardless of the merit. You really care about your students. You want to come off all tough...but you really care. You want to see all of us succeed and will do anything to help us get there. I have learned so much from you. More so than I have learned from any other acting teacher before. You don't belong at MTSU. They don't pay you enough, but you chose to be there. Thank you for using your time to teach people like me. It's because of people like you that there are decent actors in this world.
I think that about covers it. I apologize for how terribly long this entry has become. I only meant it as a goodbye note to the ones of you that have made such an impact on my life.
I don't know if I will set foot in the BDA again before I leave. If I don't see you...know my cell phon is always on if you need to talk. Never feel like you're alone I'm always here to listen.
With that said this will probably be one of my last entries in here.
So...
Goodbye and much love to everyone,
Drea
Current mood:  accomplished Current music: "God is a DJ" Pink
Friday, January 28, 2005
1:15PM
"Whenever I get upset, I remember that it takes 42 muscles to frown and only 4 to stick up your middle finger."
- John Rzeznik of the Goo Goo Dolls
"The world breaks everyone and afterward some are strong at the broken places..."
— Ernest Hemingway
"Half the world is composed of people who have something to say and can't and the other half who have nothing to say keep saying it."
— Robert Frost
"The last thing I want to be known as is 'The Girl Who Got Raped'. The big turn around you make in your head is from victim to survivor." -Tori Amos
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Just some favorite quotes of mine that keep running through my head right now.
Figured I'd share them...
Later,
D
Current mood:  awake Current music: "Fighter" Christina Aguilera
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
Yes, tis true I have officially finished my self-monlogue. It took me about 20 re-writes but it is done, memorized and copied ( 20!).
All I have to do is finish the info sheet and turn it in.
So far the homework thing is kickin tale. I'm doing it all on time.
I've even finished my play reading for the week.
Now if I could find a digital camera before make-up to take a head shot w/o my hair in my face and blow it up....I'll be lucky.
I may have to wait until Fri. when I go home...
Can anyone help me with this problem?
If so...my cell number is 931-639-0796.
I do need it today, but if I can't have it I'm sure she'll understand.
Well, I'm off to Mcallie...lunch awaits.
Later Days,
D
Current mood: accomplished Current music: "Toxic" Britney Spears
Sunday, January 23, 2005
We shot more of Jesse's movie yeaterday.
Twas much fun.
Thanx to Dustin,Corrine, and LEah for bein awesome extras!
We talked to Carrieanne yesterday and she too was in the middle of shooting a student film for the festival. This is gonna turn out o be so much fun.
I hung out with Leah,Jenn,Stephen,and Patrick last night amidst 2 parties.
One a Euro Trash Bash at Vandy and the other a party at Sarah Fye's house.
The first party was great fun for those of us who are the clubbing type...wish we could have stayed longer, but hey that's how things go...
Paige we totally missed you yesterday! You would have loved the partying!
Hope your mom is doing better!
As for today...Laundry/homework/cleaning day.
Yahoo!
Well, I'm outtie.
Later,
D
Current mood: calm Current music: Gilmore Girls
Friday, January 21, 2005
Well, the first night of shooting on Jessie Davidson's student film is done.
went quite well minus the fact that Taylor Tut totally backed out at the last second leaving the rest of us waiting for him. No call...dude...suck much...Luckily Toby jumped right in shaving off his facial hair and memorizing lines. Yep, I think Taylor is pretty awesome, but as of his lovely consideration for the rest of us tonight...kinda miffed at him. First rule of acting...If you don't want to do a project or can't find time to show up...call the director! That way you don't have an ass load of people waiting on YOU the first day of shooting....that set us back an entire hour!
It's ok though because the rest of the cast kicks ass.
Mitch,Jenn,Stephen,Toby, and I had a blast with our multiple take night..LOL!
Much props to the guys of Smith Hall for allowing us to take up the hallway w/ all the equiptment.
So what if it isn't oscar worthy material. It's a student film being shot for the festival later this semester. Jesse isn't Speilberg yet.
After we wrapped tonight Jenn,Stephen, and PAtrick came to my place for pizza and trivial pursuit 90's edition...fun times.
I gots mad love for my peeps!
Shout out to Mikey! I love you and am praying for you family. I'm sad that you're sad!
Love ya lots babe!
Well, I have 10 o'clock call in the morning for the movie.
So it's off to bed with me.
Until Later,
D
Current mood: hopeful Current music: Maroon 5 "Sunday Morning"
Hey Guys and Dolls!
I've just returned from a wonderful romp in NashVegas with 3 of my favorite people!
Leah,Jenn, and Stephen.
Our adventures started off with a joyous car ride singing along to the Avenue Q soundtrack ( courtesy of Brandon Gwinn!hehe!) ...We reached our first destination...Opry Mills...
Oh so many things to do at the mall with good buddies..lol..
( Life is a Cabaret....LOL! Inside joke)
Next destination...
The world's largest adult book store...aka...The Purple Onion.
LOL....Yeah, we'll just leave that to your imagination. LOL!
Quite the fun end to an otherwise dull day!
Well, I'm out kids...Homework calls.
-D
Current mood: ditzy Current music: "Angel" Sarah McLachlan
Thursday, January 20, 2005
Yep, that's the name of the game...bordem and watchin BET....
(Hey, I grew up in da hood...You can take the girl out of the hood, but you can't take the hood out of the girl.I'm still ghetto fabulous! LOL!)
I've done my 50 min. pilatte workout...and now I wait...
For 2:40 to roll around and my make-up class to begin.
I'm absolutly in love with with the new Ciara album. Sweet! 1,2 Step is the most awesome dance song. Gives ya a little bit of everything. Plus, Missy Eliot kicks ass as always.
I have officially mastered the dance from the video. West Jessamine Dance Team, Represent!LOL, ok, enough of that! ( Ok, I know I'm lame...humor me)
Today has been cool so far. Mus. Appr. went well. Then I ate lunch with Erica ( Beasley 3rd floor RA), the fabulous Jenn, and her equally fabulous boyfriend. This ofcoarse provided for lots of smiles and giggles! Much love guys, you rock! Apologies to Dustin for the sudden ambush. We felt you needed a smile too, and...well, it worked! LOL!
That's us, spreading smiles one man kiss at a time! LOL!
Well kids, I must be off... I is stinky from da workout and I must get clened up B 4 makin my way to the BDA...
Later Days,
D
Quote for the day...Curtosy of Leah and the legendary Dolly Parton.
"If you see someone w/o a smile, give em' yours!"
Current mood: chipper Current music: BET Music Videos
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
Ok, so my first day of classes is officially over, and they are turnin out to be pretty nice...Exspensive, but nice.
I just got back from dinner at the KUC w/ Leah,Adam,Josh,Mondre, and Curtis.
Fun times, fun times.
Loan money still hasn't come in...that's a biotch. I'm not on the work schedule this week as of now. Jason asked me if I'd be on standby Wed. though. I told him sure...Why the hell not? They're desperate. So, that's what's new.
nothin too exciting.
So I have officially been caffeine free for 2 and a half weeks now and I'm not tempted to relapse.
I've just been drinkin more than my usual share of juice and water.
My blood pressure is still haywire. They said it would level when I get used to my new meds, but I can't stand the nose bleeds. UGH!
My pilattes work outs are still goin strong. Lovin the bands AJ gave me for christmas. They make it more of a challenge.
Well, I'm out for today.
I have cleanin to do before meeting people up at the KUC to watch The Big Lebowski . If you aren't already coming....think about it!
Character dev. with minors and Dale tomorrow at 9...joy!
LOL!
Later Days,
D
Current mood: content Current music: "O" Omarion
For those who are counting...
I just finished my first class. The next one isn't until 2:30....
So, it's time to run errands.
First class was tight! Music Aprrec. is gonna be a breeze.
Bridges already knows me and the course is somethin I could pass with my eyes closed. It's in the lecture hall in the LRC.
Even better I can try and remain annonymous!
I have discovered stale pizza is a great weight loss plan! ECK!
Ofcoarse with this diet the side effects are most unpleasant. ECK!
Well, I must run, but I will update again later.
Until then...Have fun kids!
-D
Current mood:  bouncy Current music: "Caught Up" Usher
Ok, so my first two nights back in the Borro have been delightful.
Last night Ma and I moved me back in and hooked up all my stuff.
I'm alone now in the biggest dorm room on campus with lots of space and peace lovin it! If anyone needs a cool place to study or just hang whatever...My room is just that this semester. It rocks.
Today was spiffy. Ma brought my comp. back from repairs so I'm no longer in the technologic dark.
Then, Leah and I went and met Mikey ( It was his 20th B-day 2-day!) We brought him party stuff and decided to head to Nashville. Mikey really wanted to go to the Exit/In tonight to see a Death Metal band called Cattle Decaptitation....so...Leah and I were his dates.
Yeah...2 preppy chicks surronded by rough red-kneck metal heads...We got a lot of laughs out of it. It was good to see Mikey smile. I hope he had an awesome b-day! ( Love you Mikey!XOXO...Leah, you rock hardcore biotch!hehehe)
I'd like to send a BIG HOWDIE out to all my theatre peeps....
GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR CLASSES TOMORROW GUYS!
If you guys wanna hang out, talk, or whatever...give me a buzz or e-mail I'm always willing to kend an ear or whatever even if I AM busy.
Good night everyone and have a pleasant tomorrow!
-D
Current mood: chipper Current music: "Lost Without Each Other" Hanson
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
Alright so back in Jr high/high school my youth group girls group followed through the book called "I Kissed Dating Goodbye".
It hits upon topics faced by girls of that age..
While I disagree with the Christian views on pre-marital sex I do have to agree with one thing the book hit on...
Stop looking for Prince Charming and just be you.
That's seems to be what a lot of my past experience has shown me thus far.
That if you continue to look...he wont be found.
You have to start being you and figuring out who YOU are in order for someone else to love you.
I whole heartedly agree with this.
Some might say I haven't been acting on such lately, but that's where I tell them they are wrong. I don't go looking for the men I date. They find me. I stopped looking almost a year ago. No, it hasn't made life a whole lot easier, but it has made me get to know myself more. Stop relying on other people's opinions of me and how I look,dress,or even my personality and start relying on what I think and my own instincts. I've even had an eating disorder go into remission ( it's not gone, I don't believe eating disorders ever leave once you've had them. It's just not running my life right now).
So what am I getting at?
Well, I've noticed a few of my younger friends comment on how they don't want to date anymore and how it's such a waste of time...
It's not.
You're just not dating for the right reasons. Are you dating to find Prince Charming, or are you dating to just have fun and get to know someone?
See, dating is about experience. It helps you to get to know other people. All the while you are learning about the person you WANT to be with. It's kinda like riding a bike. Not everybody can jump on and just ride. You need practice. That's what dating is. Sure you get a few scraped knees, maybe a bruise or two, but in the end....It's worth it because you can look at the person you decide to committ to and know they are really the one. Sure, it may take a few boxes of band-aides before you find the ability to ride, but in the end....When you feel the wind in your hair....Wow!
So, my thoughts are...don't give up on dating. Just don't date for the same reasons. You don't always have to be goin out with somebody. Just enjoy their company as friends who date...or better still just as good friends. Don't give up on dating completly though. If you do, you will be even lonelier than before you gave it up.
Alrighty..................
Lighter topic.
I may be going to Ky to work at the Danville Pioneer Playhouse this summer.
They still need 3 more company members for their summer run .
The pay is room and board plus whatever I can make working as a waitress in the den. It's always been an aspiration of mine to work,eat,and sleep at a theatre...Now's my chance.
It is the oldest outdoor playhouse in the country, and I did spend quite a bit of time there as a pre-teen. Plus, I know I have close family and friends nearby...we'll see where that goes.
It would be awesome to get on there, maybe I could get Leslie one of the other slots and...ah well....here's to dreamin.
Well, I gotta dash.
Until Later,
D
Current mood: awake Current music: Eustace "Britney, will you go out with me?"
Monday, January 10, 2005
Ok, so I just finished re-watching
Introducing Dorthy Dandriedge.
Once again...Halle Berry has been reinstated as my favorite actress by far!
It used to be a a toss up between she and Selma Hyak ( Frieda, hello was she not fabulous!?!), but now....nope...It's all about Halle.
I really admire the way these two awesome actresses took stories of these women they really admire and when noone would fund their projects...They moved hell and high water to make it happen.
Both films, very well done too!Ofcoarse the glue is great acting and drive on the part of the leads.
Dorthy Dandriege was quite a woman! Every time I see this movie I'm reminded of how lucky I am as an actor to be born at the time I was. Sure there are still racial battles to be fought, but it all pales in comparison to what Dorthy and many like her at the time were forced to go through. Yes, some might say that is what we are going through today with the battle of the stick people in hollywood...By that I'm making reference to the fight against every actor/actress looking and or being anorexic...but no, it is most certainly NOT the same thing.
It is one thing to be critisized for your weight...It is another to be damned because of your skin color. Weight can be changed in a healthy manor...sure it is tough, but...Skin color, it just isn't possible...and why should it be!
In the film it only touched on the fact that Dorthy and those like her at the time were forced to enter the clubs they sang at from the back entrance...usually ushered into a janitors closet because they were "too dirty" for the dressing rooms and then were told when they had to pee...to do it in a paper cup because they weren't fit to use the white bathrooms.
They did all this, night after night...because of their love of the stage.
Kinda puts things into perspective doesn't it?
So what if I keep auditioning for shows where noone casts me.
So what if I have a million things due in a class and I'm so tired I can't stand much less hold up my head.
So what if I am dirt poor and starving just so I can afford to pay my bills.
So what!
It is the price I must pay to even try and call myself an actor.
I am NOT worthy of such a title next to Dorthy Dandriedge and yes, Halle Berry.
If this is what I must go through, so what.
It is nothing compared to the struggle they fought to grace the stage.
It is nothing.
I hope in writting this I may serve as my own reminder this semester. So that when I am annoyed at not being cast, or tired because of constant work...
I will cease my whinning .
For there are actresses out there whose struggles are and will always be greater than mine.
With that said...I end my ramblings for today.
Until Later,
D
Current mood: thoughtful Current music: "Who Could Ask For Anything More" Dorthy Dandriedge
Sunday, January 9, 2005
Yes, today has been rather blah.
I spent most of it watching movies with Koka...
Introducing her to the wonderful world of John Hughes and craptastic 80's teen flicks!
Yes, I'm an 80's movie buff and junkie.
Amy Heckerling is the sole purpose I considered directing!
A female director with guts who really knows the teenage psyche!
Those who knew me back in KY and Motlow can testify I AM a HUGE John Hughes follower as well.
We watched...Dirty Dancing,Pretty in Pink,Sixteen Candles,Fast Times,Can't Buy Me Love,Breakfast Club, and yes...St. Elmo's Fire!
Yes, this explains my fascination with Paige's style.
If I were casting for the screen play I've written right now out of all of my friends....She'd definatly have a lock on the lead!
I just love the 80's look. Can't really pull it off..unless ofcoarse I wear a "power suit" and tennis shoes....LOL...I AM my mother.
Yep, uneventful days...make us all feel so good...while making us all realize we have WAY TOO MUCH time on our hands away from the Borro...
LOL...
Until Later,
D
Current mood: amused Current music: Debbie Gibson "Shake Your Love"
Wednesday, January 5, 2005
Kelly Clarkson
"Since You've Been Gone"
Here's the thing we started off friends
It was cool but it was all pretend
Yeah yeah
Since you've been gone
You dedicated you took the time
Wasn't long till I called you mine
Yeah Yeah
Since you've been gone
And all you'd ever hear me say
Is how I pictured me with you
That's all you'd ever hear me say
But since you've been gone
I can breathe for the first time
Im so movin on
Yeah yeah
Thanks to you
Now I get
What I want
Since you've been gone
How can I put it? you put me on
I even fell for that stupid love song
Yeah yeah
Since you've been gone
How come I never hear you say
I just wanna be with you
I guess you never felt that way
But since you've been gone
I can breathe for the first time
Im so movin on
Yeah yeah
Thanks to you
Now I get
I get what I want
Since you've been gone
You had your chance you blew it
Out of sight, out of mind
Shut your mouth I just can't take it
Again and again and again and again
Since you've been gone
I can breathe for the first time
Im so movin on
Yeah yeah
Thanks to you (thanks to you)
Now I get
I get what I want
I can breathe for the first time
Im so movin on
Yeah yeah
Thanks to you (thanks to you)
Now I get (I get)
You should know (you should know)
That I get
I get what I want
Since you've been gone
Since you've been gone
Since you've been gone
Finally a pop song that really makes sense to me!
Current mood: amused Current music: "Since You've Been Gone" Kelly Clarkson
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